i have been watching a lot of distractive television lately. my heart has been a little worse for wear, and romantic comedies, dramatic comedies and romantic dramas are the only thing that stop me sitting around crying and eating. well, crying at least. they are either so light hearted that i waste the day away staring at the screen at ABC family PDHPE style storylines where girls get pregnant by their exbestfriends new boyfriends[who also happen to be their exboyfriends] and then argue over whether to have an abortion or not, or so ridiculously affecting that i cry my eyes out for hours on end while Dr. Yang and Dr. Hunt fight over Dr. Altman, while, even though little Grey and Sloan are trying to forget each other, they are in love and now, Mr Commitment-phobe himself, Sloan, asks little Grey to mary him.

all the while, im trying to distract myself from the way im feeling, when infact, all im doing is making myself feel worse. all these stories with happy endings, when currently, mine is M.I.A.

many of these shows are based around men and women who are unsure in their relationships, either about where they stand, or how each other feels, or where things are going... sometimes, there is the age old beat of a secret or forbidden or circumstantially undesirable love. the story goes along the lines of, boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy an girl are happy ...BUT THEN... the timing is wrong, or the father finds out and goes mental, or one of them has to move away or finds some other melodramatic reason why they cant be together. more often than not, the boy and girl don't take the chance to tell the other the way they feel about each other and years on, they cross paths, finding each other with new loves, new lives, new families, responsibilities and regrets... what if they had told each other how they felt all that time ago? would things have been different? would the new lives and families and regrets be with this one person they truly loved once upon a time?

and what counts as a happy ending? do the boy and girl finally admit their undying love for each other and rekindle their long lost relationship, thereby reducing what they have made of a life to tatters? do they break their families hearts, disregard their responsibilities, and leave their new lovers for a potential new life of bliss? should they finally take the risk they never had the guts to take the first time round? .... or is that selfish?

should they instead continue in their second-choice life with their second-choice love and live with all the decisions and actions that have brought them to this point in their lives? is the safe choice the 'right' choice? should you be selfless and be concerned for the wellbeing of others around you, or should you take a leap for your own?

i mean really, what is the point of waiting? if youre happy around someone, if youre comfortable around them, if they can make you smile and laugh, if you have fun together, why do things ever have to be complicated or hard? hold onto them, dont let that chance slip away if they are so clearly worth it, be with them.